


Rendezvous

by Glowstar826



Series: Love in the Time of Magical Destruction [2]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Bad Decisions, Bisexual Remus Lupin, Bottom Remus Lupin, Dark, Emotional Baggage, Emotional Hurt, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Infidelity, Emotional Manipulation, Emotional Roller Coaster, Emotional Sex, Gay Severus Snape, Gay Sex, Good Severus Snape, Infidelity, M/M, Manipulation, Not Canon Compliant, Not Canon Compliant - Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, POV Remus Lupin, POV Third Person, Remus Lupin Has Issues, Remus Lupin Needs a Hug, Remus Lupin-centric, Severus Snape Has a Heart, Sex, Top Severus Snape, Touch-Starved, Touch-Starved Remus Lupin, Werewolf Remus Lupin, established remus lupin/severus snape, needy remus lupin, not explicit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-23
Updated: 2021-01-23
Packaged: 2021-03-15 20:33:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,456
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28944486
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Glowstar826/pseuds/Glowstar826
Summary: It has been four months. Four months of agony, suffering, and desperation. For one Remus Lupin, he knows he must go to great lengths to be reunited with his love once more. Sequel to "I've Reached My Breaking Point."
Relationships: Remus Lupin/Nymphadora Tonks, Remus Lupin/Severus Snape
Series: Love in the Time of Magical Destruction [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2129211
Comments: 2
Kudos: 25





	Rendezvous

**Author's Note:**

> **Hey guys! Because I was bored, I decided to write a sequel to my one-shot, _I've Reached My Breaking Point_. You don't necessarily have to read that to understand this story, but it's in the same universe. Be warned: there is a sex scene, but it's coyly written and not explicit. There are also multiple references to sex, adultery, and child abandonment. The views reflected in this story do not, in any way, reflect my own. With that said, I sincerely hope you enjoy this sequel!**

Remus looked at the silver band on his ring finger with unadulterated shame. The very reminder of what he had done would always come back to bite. For as long as he would live, marrying Nymphadora Tonks would always be the biggest mistake he ever made in his life.

It hurt him whenever he climbed into bed with her and forced himself to please her the best he could or when he saw her eyes light up at his presence. It hurt when she would smile at him or get him little gifts. Remus had felt even worse about the situation when she morphed into Severus for a laugh one night. Instead of the disgust that she had most likely expected him to feel, all he had wanted to do was to fuck her senseless. Of course, he couldn't tell her that. He couldn't say that he wanted Severus Snape, Dumbledore's killer, more than his own _wife_. Another thing was her bubbly personality and her readiness to believe the best of Remus — even when he had no reason to be applauded. She always let him go whenever he didn't do a certain task right or when he forgot a minuscule thing. He knew that behind all that sparkle, she harbored some pity. Even if she didn't know that she had it, she did. It was why he had wanted to scream when he learned that he had impregnated her.

He didn't know how it happened or why it did, but he couldn't possibly leave her now, not when she was expecting. It was too risky. Every time he thought about it, he cursed everything. He cursed the backwardness of Wizarding society and how they didn't have any means of protection, he cursed Tonks for being so forward, and he cursed Voldemort for even existing. He had hoped to God that he would be lucky whenever he had sex with her, but alas, the card dealt to him had been the worst one. The fact that he was even aroused by her made him want to throw up.

"Remus? You there?" Tonks' voice called from outside the threshold of their shared bedroom. Remus grunted to affirm his presence. He watched as Tonks walked in, wearing a long T-shirt. Her belly had started showing a little, but it was not so much that she had to get maternity clothing yet.

"Yes, dear," said Remus dully.

"Hey!" Tonks scolded playfully as she lightly swatted Remus' arm. "I'm not even thirty yet, so don't you even _think_ about going into the 'Yes, dear' territory."

Remus chuckled lightly as he gave her a wan smile.

"Duly noted, 'Dora."

Remus had to say that he was doing quite a stellar job at making Tonks believe that his love for her was genuine. He wished things were different, though. He wished that _circumstances_ were different. It did _not_ help that Tonks had basically been pushed onto him by Molly and the rest of them. She was so, _so_ young, and she was far too naïve. Sometimes, Remus hated himself for leading her on in this way, but he was not sure where else to go.

He laid down on his pillow. When he felt Tonks snuggle against his back, he found himself feeling desperate and wanting to inch away. He longed for the body next to him to be Severus', and he longed for the short, thin fingers that had started stroking his hair to be the long, delicate ones of his lover. Remus wanted to feel Severus in his arms, to give him languid kisses, to whisper sweet nothings in his ear. He wanted to hold him and tell him it would be all right. He wanted him to know that they would make it.

Remus refused to give into Tonks' unsaid request as she started caressing his face from behind. He refused to turn around and give her a peck on her pink head like the good husband he supposedly was. He refused to betray his love for Severus, even if it was suspicious.

Instead, Remus took her hand. Their fingers intertwined. He squeezed it as Tonks said in his ear, "I love you."

Remus didn't give her an answer, instead closing his eyes and pretending to sleep. After a moment, he felt a pair of lips press against the back of his head, and he heard a voice murmur with a light laugh, "You sleepyhead. Goodnight, Remus." Then, he heard a susurrus of sheets as Tonks turned around. Only when he heard her light snoring did he dare move as he quietly got out of bed.

Remus couldn't stay here now. He didn't _want_ to stay here. His longing for Severus' touch became too great to handle; a horrid monster materialized itself inside Remus' heart, and he ran a hand through his mop of hair stressfully as it clawed at his chest from the inside. He felt a burning pain in his eyes as he ambled his way to the sitting room and flopped onto the couch.

He glanced at the fireplace, contemplating whether to Floo to Hogsmeade. Even though Madam Rosmerta was a kind enough woman, he didn't feel like he would be able to Floo to the Three Broomsticks safely. The Hog's Head, on the other hand, was safer, as it was run by Dumbledore's brother, Aberforth. Thinking about his options, Remus thought better of Flooing as he quickly went back to the bedroom and changed his clothes, pulling on some boots and wrapping a winter cloak around himself. Then, he headed to the front door. Apparating to the Hog's Head would be safer since the Floo network was most likely being monitored by the overtaken Ministry. Once he was safely out of the house, he closed his eyes and turned on the spot. When he opened them again, he found himself in the rustic inn. None of the lights were on, but he heard a set of footsteps as a gruff voice shouted, "Who's there?"

Remus tiptoed quickly to one of the back rooms and cast a Disillusionment Charm on himself. Aberforth stormed in and turned on the lights, looking around for any intruders. Remus watched the barman as he inspected the area. Suddenly, a portrait of a young girl that was right across the room swung open, and Remus felt the tears again as an older, hardened, mature Neville Longbottom stepped out of it.

"We need more food," the young man announced, and Aberforth turned towards him sharply.

"Already?"

"The Carrows are getting creative with their punishments. I've been _Crucio_ 'd twice today, and — and a lot of the first and second-years are getting hungry with their stress."

"I see," said Aberforth, and Remus was surprised at his businesslike tone. "Come on, then, but be careful. I think there might be someone snooping around."

"Right," said Neville, drawing out his wand and keeping it at his side. Remus nearly snorted as the Gryffindor failed to remember to shut the portrait. It reminded him of the time that Neville accidentally lost his list of passwords, only for Sirius to find them and ransack Harry's dorm during the year Remus taught Defense. He remembered that night particularly well because that had been the night he and Severus made love for the first time.

Looking at the portrait hole, Remus realized that this was the best way he would be able to access Hogwarts. Standing up slowly, he walked carefully towards the portrait and climbed into the tunnel. Then, he stood up and walked down the twisting and turning path until he came to a dead end. He was just about to try and push the end open when he realized that it would look suspicious if the door opened on its own. With that in mind, he crouched down and waited for Neville's return.

…

Remus stepped as silently as he could through the seventh-floor corridor as he exited the room which was housing students from all Houses except Slytherin. At that thought, he felt a small pang for what the young, innocent Slytherins must be going through without Neville, Ginny, and Luna's protection. Once he reached the end of the hall, he tentatively made his way up the staircase to the headmaster's office. The nervousness started to kick in as he softly knocked on the door.

"Come in." Remus felt fuzzy hearing Severus' voice as he stepped inside.

Severus looked up, but his Occluded expression turned into one of confusion as he gazed in Remus' direction. Remus realized that he still had the Disillusionment Charm on, so he waved his wand and got rid of it.

As he faded into view, Severus' face became shocked.

" _Remus_?" he hissed, barely above a whisper. "What in God's name are you doing here?" As if by instinct, he murmured, " _Muffliato_."

"I know this is a horrible time —"

"Damn _right_ it is a horrible time!" shouted Severus, his voice now at full volume. He stood up and rushed over to Remus' side.

"How did you even get _in_?" asked Severus worriedly, gripping Remus' shoulders. "You could've _died_ —"

"I know," said Remus calmly. "Yet here I am."

Severus started pacing the room while Remus followed him with his eyes.

"God — there are fucking _Death Eaters_ outside! Why —"

"Oh, come on, Severus, do you not have even a _grain_ of faith?"

"No, of _course_ I do —"

"Then there's nothing more to say," Remus interrupted. "Please, I came here because I was lonely, not because I wanted to be mothered by the male version of Molly Weasley."

Severus stopped abruptly and pivoted towards Remus with a glare.

"Don't you _dare_ compare me to that insufferable woman —"

"Then stop worrying so much!" Remus walked over and cupped Severus' face in his hands. "For the love of Merlin, just be happy that I came, will you?"

Severus stared at Remus for a long time before finally pulling Remus into a warm hug.

"I missed you, Remus. I missed you so much…"

"Well, I'm here now, Severus." Remus gave him a chaste kiss before pulling away. Remus relished the taste he got, licking his lips as his forehead fell against Severus'.

"What prompted you to come here in the dead of night, anyways? You must know that this is quite random."

Remus sighed as he took in the feeling of Severus' arms on his shoulders.

"To put it simply, I fucked up. I'm going to have a child and I don't know how to cope with it."

"Congratulations, Remus."

Remus was stunned to hear that his lover's tone was warm.

"What? I thought you'd be terribly upset —"

"I'm not," said Severus rather softly. "Miss Tonks — or rather, Mrs. Lupin — is a very, _very_ lucky woman."

Remus frowned as he stepped back.

"What — what are you saying?"

"How many months is she?"

"Answer my question!" Remus snapped. He was confused. He had thought that he would get sympathy from Severus once he revealed that he was stuck. He had thought Severus would actually put up a fight. He was not supposed to be reacting like this, so resigned to his fate. It unnerved Remus, the way Severus was acting, so happy, so _satisfied_ —

"Are you not happy with Tonks?"

Horror filled Remus as he registered the surprise in his lover's tone.

"What do you think? _Why_ would I come all the way here, sneak through Hogsmeade, and _traverse the Death Eater-filled halls_ if I was happy?"

Severus' composure visibly faltered as his eyebrows fell close to his nose.

"Then why are you here?"

"What? I told you already —"

"Why are you here?" Severus repeated, punctuating every syllable. "You're betraying your wife's trust — and for what? Me? Don't you care about how she'll feel?"

"Why should I?" asked Remus flippantly, feeling the monster start to overtake his senses again. He wanted to get his point through to Severus. He did not _want_ her — he wanted _him_. He wanted nothing more than to wake up every morning with Severus by his side, to pleasure him every night, to take care of him when he was sick, to raise a family with him. He wanted to spend the rest of his life with him. He didn't come here to be lectured. He came here to be loved, to be held, to be —

"Are you so unfeeling that you disregard all of Tonks's needs and aim to fulfill only your own?" Severus' voice was dark. Dangerous. It sent a gulp down Remus' throat.

"Maybe," said Remus brazenly, trying to not make his thoughts obvious. He took a step towards Severus. "I don't _want_ her, don't you see? I — want — you."

"But she is _pregnant_. If you won't go for her, go for your child!"

"I wouldn't even _be_ in this mess if it weren't —"

"For what?" Severus' eyes narrowed into slits. "The war? Well, I'm sorry to say this, but life isn't fair!"

"To hell with fairness," said Remus in a low voice. "I came here because I want you, not because I want to be fair. For one night, let this be about us. Forget the world. Forget the war. Let us revel in the warmth of each other. Let us _feel_. Give me this, and I give you my word that I'll go back to my child." He nearly added, "Please," but he deigned not to for fear Severus would take back control.

Severus' eyelids closed, and he breathed in deeply. A myriad of emotions passed through his prematurely-lined face as he contemplated Remus' offer — his plea. Remus wondered whether he was pushing him too far. He was normally not so… demanding. _Possessive_ , his mind corrected, but he dismissed that rogue thought. Even as the thought was dispelled from his mind, he couldn't help but wonder. Was Remus really right to ask Severus for a night of lovemaking to satisfy his own itch? He had been so sure at first that Severus would give in, but now, he was seeing the truth. Even then, in Remus' mind, they should have already been rolling around, kissing each other, pleasing each other, _needing_ each other.

Exhaling, Severus finally looked up at Remus again, and the latter was pleased to see the fire burning amidst the inky blackness of his irises. Severus' lips turned upward in a small grin as he brushed Remus' fringe from his forehead.

"There it is," said Remus fondly as he skated his fingers across Severus' cheek.

"What is?" asked Severus.

"Your passion. Your fire. Your steel." Remus kissed Severus on his cheek, jaw, and neck with each sentence. "The reasons why I fell in love with you," he continued as he finally kissed Severus on the mouth.

"I love you so much," murmured Severus, "but so does she."

"This isn't about her," Remus replied, caressing his lover's face.

"I know… but I… I can't help but —"

"Shh," whispered Remus, placing his forefinger on Severus' lips. "Just let me pleasure you tonight… help you forget everything… just you and me, alone… hidden away somewhere safe… where no one is watching… where you can be yourself…"

Leaning in slowly, Remus closed the space between them as he took Severus' mouth in his own with an ardent kiss. He started pulling away when he didn't feel Severus reciprocate it, but he felt a hand guiding him back. It was all Remus could do to not let his knees buckle as Severus suddenly threw his arms around his neck. A light moan escaped Remus' throat as Severus broke away and kissed his neck and collarbone. Goosebumps went up Remus' arms and across his scalp as he felt finely-tuned fingers reach under his shirt and trace decades-old scars from when he was just a boy. Marks of his curse — his disease. Slight embarrassment overcame him as he was reminded of how unattractive he was, but Severus kept Remus firmly in place as his hands slid into Remus' hair.

"Bedroom," breathed Remus. When Severus gave no answer, he repeated himself.

"Patience," scolded Severus lightly, and Remus' arousal intensified at the decadence and authority of his lover's voice as he began kissing him again. Severus was — in a word — perfect. Remus found that Severus was sweet and smooth as a Chocolate Frog, and he pushed his tongue inside to get more of that delectable taste.

Gradually, the kisses got faster and more desperate. Remus' arousal grew even more as they started peeling each other's layers off one by one. Cloth turned to skin as they clumsily wandered into Severus' new quarters. The bed seemed to come to them rather than the other way around as Remus' fall was cushioned by something very soft. He sunk into the mattress as Severus kissed him all over his body.

"How are you blessed with such a perfect form?" asked Remus as he grazed his fingernails across Severus' neck. Severus only groaned in return as Remus kissed him hot on his shoulders and his cheeks.

"I could ask you the same thing," rasped Severus. The heat from his body radiated against Remus', and it soon enveloped the both of them as they stopped talking and began to truly please each other.

As Severus worked Remus to completion, Remus managed to do what he had promised Severus in the beginning: he managed to forget. He forgot that he had a slumbering wife at home with a growing child in her belly; he forgot that Severus was a spy; he forgot that Dumbledore had used his lover so, _so_ horribly; he forgot that they were in the middle of a genocidal war. All he could focus on was Severus and his deft fingers, which had now made their way to —

"Ahh-ah," moaned Remus, his back arching. Severus really _was_ good at this.

"It seems that I've gotten a satisfactory reaction out of you?" said Severus smugly.

" _How_?" Remus asked in disbelief.

"How what?" Severus looked down on him with twinkling eyes.

"How do you still manage to use words with so many syllables?"

"A talent, I suppose," replied Severus, effectively silencing Remus with another kiss.

"Smart arse," teased Remus when Severus pulled away.

"Dumb arse," returned Severus.

Remus giggled lightly at the banter they were sharing. It was like when they had first gotten together. It had felt so… _natural_. Banter had always been a part of their relationship, a building block. They wouldn't have survived if it weren't for that irresistible back-and-forth. Everyone else thought they were arguing most of the time, but it had always been their little secret.

Remus was pleasantly surprised to see that Severus had not lost his touch as he reached the place that was near. He scratched and stroked in all the right places, and his tempo was just right. Remus curled his toes and breathed quickly as Severus trailed hot kisses down his jaw, throat, chest, stomach —

Remus gasped loudly as he gripped the bedsheets so hard his knuckles turned white. God, how had he gone months without — without _this_? He fought a yell as Severus ran his hands down his thighs, making the heat consume him whole. He briefly remembered that it was close to winter, but it could've been summer with how much he was sweating.

It was not too long before they climaxed together as they cried each other's names. Sighing, Severus slumped on top of Remus, his body heat dissipating. Remus rolled out from under him and laid his head back. He wiped the sweat from his forehead as he stretched his limbs, and he turned his head and brushed some hair that had fallen on Severus' face. He smiled as Severus planted a loving, lingering kiss on his head, and he felt goosebumps on his back and neck as fingers carded through his hair. This had been the best night that Remus ever had. He hadn't _felt_ in so, so long…

 _I never want this to end_.

Tears started pooling in Remus' eyes, and he buried his face in Severus' neck to keep them at bay. No, this couldn't be the end. It _wasn't_ the end. He was going to stay with Tonks, have the baby, and then tell her the truth. He was going to make it out with Severus and he was going to grow old with him. Then he wanted to scream as he realized the absurdity of his imaginings. God, he was so stupid, so delusional, so, so —

"You will need to go back soon," whispered Severus, even though there was no one listening.

"No," denied Remus. "We could stay here longer."

"That is impossible, Remus, you know this."

"Please… just —"

"Listen to me," implored Severus, his voice remaining soft. "I need you to go back. You _said_ you would go back —"

"I know —"

"Listen to what I have to say, then. Will you do that?"

Remus, after fighting to roll his eyes, nodded in assent.

"Give Nymphadora a chance." All the warmth Remus had been feeling earlier was sucked out of him. Severus sounded serious; he _actually_ wanted Remus to… go. To her. "She was one of my best students and one of the most caring as well. I should know. I taught her for seven years.

"Learn to love her. Learn to love the child growing inside her. Before you know it, I'll be gone —"

 _No no no no no_ —

"— and I don't want you to be broken on account of my absence. Even if I do live, my life will be pointless. Yours, however, won't. Make use of your life, and nurture your growing family."

 _NO_ —

"Though it saddens me that things couldn't have been different — with us, with the war — this is the unfortunate reality we must face. So please, Remus. For my sake, love your wife. She deserves no less, and neither does your child."

_No…_

Remus' stomach plummeted at the thought of being stuck with Tonks. Why was Severus being so — so _difficult_? Why was he forcing him to go back? _Why_ couldn't he just give into his selfish desires for once and _keep him_? Why did _Severus_ always have to be the mature one, the sensible one? Why was he being forced to go back to someone he didn't even _care_ about? What was the _point_ of sacrificing Severus' love for a woman much too young for him, too pure? What was his purpose if he wasn't even allowed to be happy?

Why couldn't he be _happy_?

Shaking his head, he leaned in and kissed Severus hard, packing all of his emotions into it. His fingers tangled with Severus' locks, and he pressed harder when he didn't feel a response. After a moment, Remus felt two hands being placed on his chest, and he was gently pushed away.

"Please, Remus, let me go."

Looking at Severus, Remus saw the sincerity in his eyes. He saw the hope. The determination. The love. Remus shook his head quickly, not wanting to face this, not wanting to wake up to the truth —

"For God's sake…" said Severus exasperatedly after running a hand over his face. "Look, Remus, at least give your _child_ a chance if you're unwilling to give one to Tonks."

Remus looked up. His _child_.

 _His_ child.

"I… will _never_ forgive myself… if you abandon that child for me. Your child does not, in _any way_ , deserve what you are doing to him or her."

Remus said nothing. What was he supposed to say to _that_? How was he supposed to tell him that he didn't care, that he didn't _want_ to go back? How could he say that there was no one left for him to care about _except_ Severus?

"Remus?" said the man in question after a while. "Remus, say something."

It was then that Remus finally lost it. The concern in his lover's voice was so profound that it undid him.

Completely.

He started sobbing as his face twisted into something ugly. Remus couldn't bear the thought of letting Severus go, for he was the only one who saw Remus for what he was. No one else could see through Remus like Severus could. No one else understood his loneliness or his inner pain.

No one else _knew_.

Remus wanted to remain tethered to this perfect fantasy for eternity. It was a place where they would grow old together, a place where they would raise a family, a place where there were no secrets. In reality, however, he'd be growing old with someone else, someone for whom he had no love for, and the very idea made him cry harder. It was like a burning knife cutting into his soul. It was worse than the Dementor's Kiss.

Severus guided Remus' face so the latter was looking into the former's eyes. Remus' eyelids fluttered shut while two calloused thumbs brushed his tears away. A pair of lips kissed his eyes, his forehead, and his mouth, and two arms wrapped around his shoulders and pulled him forward to the point where their chests touched. The feeling of Severus' skin against his own was electrifying; Remus turned into the heat as though it were a goose down blanket. All he wanted was to cry himself to sleep, but Severus evidently didn't, as he moved back so they were looking at each other again.

"Please, do it. For your child."

At this point, Remus realized that there was no way out. No escape. He could either go back and put up his charade once more, or he could stay and finally become the monster they all said he'd be. Everyone hated an absent father, more so than a cheating husband. At least for the second, there were excuses. There were _reasons_.

But there were no reasons for the first.

He was willing to go to great lengths to get what he wanted, but he wouldn't sacrifice an innocent child's well-being in a self-serving manner like this. He _couldn't_. If even _Severus_ — a man who had seen and done things that no man could have done without a bit of their soul chipped — wanted him to go, then there really was a problem. He couldn't deny Severus' request — his demand. He didn't think he would've been able to stay sane if Severus turned on him, too.

So, with that thought in mind, Remus smiled. He gave Severus one last, lingering kiss, and then he got dressed. Time seemed to speed by as they said their final goodbyes and parted with one last embrace, and he left Hogwarts with a renewed purpose.

But before all this could transpire, Remus took a second to focus on Severus. For one last moment, he felt unburdened. Free. Content.

For one last moment, he felt alive.


End file.
